The Dutch Have the Worst Ideas

In the South, we like barbeque. If you're from Memphis, you know BBQ only means pulled pork shoulder. It does not, under any circumstances, mean grilled chicken brushed with Kroger barbeque sauce. If that's what you think BBQ is, get out of my face. I legit can't look at you.

Now, I'm one of those people who likes pulled pork sandwiches. I think they're effing delicious, especially since I only eat them twice a year (because my family are BBQ snobs, and the BBQ here is, um, not something my dog would eat if we had a dog not good.)

But unlike a certain member of my family (oh hell, I'm going to call her out. Nan, I am talking to you. Except not, because you still can barely use your computer and have no idea I have a blog.), I do not like any other condiments on my BBQ sandwiches besides, obviously, BBQ sauce. It's weird how that works, right? BBQ sauce on BBQ? It's like fate. Wyrd. (See what I did there? Old English humor. I rock.)

Anyway, my nana likes a certain condiment that I cannot stand: koolsalade. You've never heard of that word, most likely. It's Dutch for 'cabbage salad.' In the South, this means cole slaw, the most disgusting fucking side dish ever.


It has cabbage, carrots, and mayonnaise. How could it get any effing worse?

Look at that amazing BBQ sandwich. Doesn't it look super delicious? Oh, but they effed up with the side of coleslaw. Ridiculous.

Another thing that disgusts me about coleslaw is the scene in Never Been Kissed where Rob declares himself "The Coleslaw King of the World." And you know who played Rob, right? 

Yes, David Arquette played Rob. Doesn't that make it worse?

It's official: the Dutch have the worst ideas. None of this would have ever happened if they just left cabbage out of salad.