I Like Scaring the Eff Out of People

There are a few stores parents should never bring children into. These are not stores with power tools that could hurt the little mutants, because those power tools are the ish to any child. Girl or boy, it doesn't matter. Power tools are shiny and make loud noises. Crack for children.

No, the stores children should not be brought into are boring. There's nothing for kids to do. Victoria's Secret, Tuesday Morning, and Stein Mart are the top ones that come to mind.

When I was a child, my mum took me to Stein Mart a lot. I don't know why. Stein Mart's clothes are classy, sure, for an 80-year old. But there is absolutely nothing for kids to do, except hide in racks.

See, the wondiferous racks of Stein Mart are circular and have plenty of space for kids to fit in. So I would hide in the rack, wait for my mother to pick up a lovely blouse, and then grab out at her arm.

"Oh, this is pretty! I should go try it on," my mum would say.

Then she'd pick it up, and my arm would dart out to grab it like lightning.

Then my mother would be pissed because I scared her.

And then we'd leave Stein Mart and go get ice cream. My life was complete.