But we were SO READY for the wonderfulness that is St. Valentine's Day, and we went to the store the night before to scope out cards since we were forced to buy one for everyone. I always chose Harry Potter.
Clearly I was under the impression that Draco Malfoy would come surprise me
as my Valentine. Unfortunately, that only happened in my dreams.
In addition to choosing our favorite movie cards (unless you were dumb and chose baseball Valentine's cards...seriously, who does that?!), we also all picked candy. Because, really, who wants to be the loser who doesn't bring candy? But the only thing worse than no candy were these:
Don't let the pretty colors and heart shapes fool you, these suckers (no pun intended) tasted like sugary ass. Maybe I was a gourmet candy taster at the ripe age of 8, but I could taste the Red Dye #40 in these as soon as they hit my tongue. But, of course, I was also a child. If there were no Nerds (the nectar of gods and Sheldon Cooper, I tell you!), these would provide the sugar comatose I needed to get me through multiplication and Mrs. Baker. And gym with my borderline pedophiliac gym teacher. (Last I heard, he was still there and dating a woman who could have actually been in my class, age-wise. I always knew he was a creeper!)
Even though I have upgraded my candy standards, I still find myself longing for the days of forced Valentine's Day card parties. Even though you wanted to gyp the mean girl with the stank face in the back of the classroom, you still gave her a "You're special" card. I think these are great lessons in life. You won't always get along with someone, but you can still give them a backhanded compliment and assface suckers.
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